Rise of the Penguins

*UPDATE: 2 weeks til release!

The time is fast approaching. My first novel RISE OF THE PENGUINS is set for a December release. (Available in both print and Kindle on Amazon) What is RISE OF THE PENGUINS you ask? Well let me start by explaining the books origins. If you missed my previous blog My Turn At The Blog Hop, where I answered a series of questions about my work, let me give you the quick rundown. 

First: this was a story I started writing waaaay back in 2005. I wrote the bulk of the novel while on my breaks working the graveyard shift at a local glass manufacturing plant. After a series of life’s setbacks, i.e. carpal tunnel surgery, heart issues, followed by a heart attack, followed by a divorce, followed by financial distress caused by the aforementioned heart troubles and subsequently losing my job, I buckled down and got to the work of publishing this epic adventure. So now, seven years later, I’m finally going to print! (I owe a lot to my recently appointed bride for pushing me forward).  

For you, my 3 or 4 loyal readers of my blog, I will give to you the chance to read the blurb. (Blurb. I’ve always had trouble assigning that word to group of sentences. Sounds more like a reflux problem). BTP. So without further ado, or excitement, or ruckus, or any other synonym of ado, I present the blurb. 

AN EPIC ADVENTURE BEGINS

Wildlife photographer Randy Lee and climatologist Gina Rosedale are working in Antarctica for Global Threat, an environmental research company. However they soon find themselves caught in the middle of a war no one could have foreseen: The War of the Species. The origins of which are shrouded in shadow.

Few people knew the penguins were intelligent and had their own society. Even fewer knew that they were vengeful. For years they were seen as amusing clowns of the Antarctic—waddling, dancing, characters of cartoons. Before the days of animated film they were seen as something else; a source for lamp oil, food for sled dogs, or other uses which resulted in the death of millions of penguins. This was a time they never forgot.

A leader emerged from an ancient race of penguin known as the Royal Emperors. This leader united most of the penguin clans into a defensive coalition. From this propitious beginning, the Royal Emperor leader soon dubbed himself Overlord of the newly formed Penguin Defense Alliance and as his kind grew in number, so did his power.

However not all penguins are content to subjugation by the Royal Emperors and resistance begins to show itself. But what the dissidents lack is a true leader. Under the iron rule of the Overlord and while enduring the horrors of war against the humans, an unassuming leader will emerge.

Can one penguin change the fate of his species and the world?

Be sure to check out my website, where you can find exclusive content pertaining to the book.
http://riseofthepenguins.net/
and follow me on facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/riseofthepenguins

Halloween

Halloween! Ooooh, such a spooky time of year. I say that because pumpkins terrify me. Big, somewhat circular, orange things are frightening. That’s why I don’t go to tanning booths; I fear seeing a carrot–skinned derrière bounding down the hallway toward me. It could happen. Well—in a nightmare it could happen. Which reminds of why I’m here: It’s Halloween time. And while I have, for the purposes of better health, avoided the oh-so-sweet temptation of candy-corn, I have not humbugged the holiday entirely. Therefore I will indulge you all with a list of spookery not to be found anywhere else in this realm of the living. That was bone-chilling, wasn’t it? No? My spell-check is telling me spookery is not a word. Maybe it wasn’t so bone-chilling. Regardless, this list will contain real or imagined beast so terrifying that if you are faint-hearted, you best keep the smelling salts close at hand. Beware and be warned! So, without further a-boo here is my blah-g list of creatures that frighten me to my soul:

1. The Dead Un-dead Dead Guy—you know the one. The dead zombie thing that you think is dead but when you creep up to it for a closer look, BAM!, it sits up and bites your face off. I’ve had to have my face grafted back on three times because I’m a slow learner.

2. Eric Stoltz—No, not because of any movie he’s been in, he’s a fine actor, handsome fellow and all too. It’s that while doing research for red-headed actors for my previous blog, I found a picture of him and he seemed to be telling me that he would carve me up and serve me as fillet-o-fish sandwiches to my neighbors (who happen to be Gene Simmons and C-3PO), then take my scalp and weave it onto a giant twenty-foot wookie costume—wait a second. I think I dreamt this. Yeah. I did dream this. Forget number two. 

2.  Bear Hugger—This invisible fiend stalks his victim for hours, or even days, waiting for his prey to become involved in a delicate social situation. At that point, he rushes his target, picks him up around the waist, squeezes and shakes until the victim uncontrollably farts. Those around him only see the victim’s wild contortions and insane gyrating. Once the thunderous flatulence has been expelled, Bear Hugger departs. You will not get the job, date, or make a good impression on your new neighbors.

3. Backwasher—No, not the shower monster. This beast is far, far more sinister. It, (I said it because it is an androgynous Ken-doll­ ­neutral. Don’t ask me how I know this), seizes hold of your drink, whether it be a Firestone 805, Kool-Aid, or chocolate milk-shake, and takes a big open mouth gulp, letting the remnants of its last meal (be it pizza, corn on the cob, or Chex-mix), spill back into the drinking vessel.  

4. WereBats—These frighten me much more than Werewolves. You can see a werewolf coming; it growls and snarls almost as if it wants to be seen. You will never see a WereBat coming. A WereBat will flitter out of a tree, scratch you—maybe even nip at you—then erratically fly away. You will never see it coming. Then, on the next Waxing Gibbous moon, you transform into a tiny, fuzzy, flying insectivore. I know what some of you are asking yourselves: “Don’t vampires transform into bats?” No. No they don’t. Nor do they sparkle. Nor do they get angsty teen-age girls pregnant.  

5. Moons Over My Hammy—since I’m talking about moons I would be remiss if I were to omit something so foul and loathsome as this Denny-ical concoction. Unsuspecting patrons enter the 24 hour diner, hoping to either grab a bite while traveling or to sop up the alcohol in their systems after seven hours of binge drinking. Oh, they get their meal, but they also get a little something extra. At eight a.m. the following morning a deep rumble in their gut gives the victims warning. A thought forms, “were those eggs cooked all the way? They seemed a little runny.” The thought is dismissed. But the Moons Over My Hammy soon does it’s work. By 8:30 a.m. the former Denny’s patrons experience a full intestinal cathartic release of all things eaten the prior 72 hours, and everything they might eat over the next 5 days. This beast actually expels food from your digestive tract you have not even eaten yet. Sunken, hollow eyes, gaze to the sky for unseen help. Withered, broken bodies fall to bathroom floors; legs weak and numb from hours of sitting on porcelain cathedrae; raspy, dehydrated voices call to their deity only to go unanswered.  

6. Bret Micheals—Those pouty lips are a distraction. What’s under that bandana!?! What are you hiding!?! I’m sure it has to be Unskinny Bop. What does that even mean!?! My body recoils from the thought. Pray the Lord have mercy on us sinners! Mankind cannot take another listen to this bad 90s metal. Mercy on us, mercy on us all! I cry to thee, mercy! We have strayed from the path; many have; but thou shall not have us endure such a fate as to suffer through Unskinny Bop again! Mercy! Mercy, mercy…

7. Shits-n-Giggles—Some say he is the lost soul of a Moons Over My Hammy victim. Some say he is something else entirely. All I know is that you should be ever vigilant. But in the end your vigilance will prove fruitless. You will hear him coming; waking you from your sleep. He sounds like a sadistic child; a high pitched giggle can be heard in your home. Walls mean nothing to him. The hallway, the den, downstairs, in the kitchen—in the kids’ rooms. You will hear their terrified shrieks, but nothing can be done. You can hide beneath your blankets or in the closet; futile attempts at best. No weapon can defeat him. He’s there, in the dark. You can hear the giggle. Your skin prickles in fear. Suddenly it happens. He does what his name suggests then disappears. You are left trembling and shocked and in need of a shower. Abandon hope all ye who hear this fiend.

Take caution this Halloween for these creatures are out there. Eat your candy, carve your pumpkins, dress in your sexy kitty costumes if you will, but heed my warnings. The night will bring more than beggars of candy. Fear lives on this eve. Fear lives. 

Now It's my turn at the BLOG HOP: THE NEXT BIG THING

So a very good friend of mine, John Daulton, author of The Galactic Mage, http://daultonbooks.com/book/the-galactic-mage/  sent me this blog hop thing. What is a Blog Hop? I cried upon seeing the title. Much to my relief it was not a weird retro 1950's online dance contest. What it is, is a great way for writers to talk about their work, support other writers, and help readers find new writers who might interest them. So with that in mind, I will gladly carry the banner of self-promotion onward. But in order for me to do so, I will have to obey the rules established aforetime by the ancient governing body of this blog hop. I will post the title of the blog hop, the rules, the questions (with the answers), and links:

BLOG HOP--The Next Big Thing 

The rules for the Blog Hop are as follows:
 1. Give credit to the person/blog that tagged you.
 2. Post the rules for the Blog Hop.
 3. Answer these 10 question about your current WIP (Work In Progress) on your blog.
 4. Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them.

Ten Interview Questions for The Next Big Thing:

What is the working title of your book? 

I currently have two works in progress. The first is Rise of the Penguins, which is headed toward an early December release. So that one is no longer a working title. The second is tentatively titled Rise of the Penguins: Terra Borealis. This makes reference to the title page of the first book Terra Australis which I left out of the and gives a clue as to where the events will lead in the second book. Terra Australis meaning Southern Land and Terra Borealis meaning Northern Land.

Where did the idea come from for the book?

This goes way back to my high school days. I wrote a short story in my English composition class  explaining why there were no penguins in the north. I was reading a lot of Berkeley Breathed's Bloom County at the time, so Opus the penguin was a major influence on me. Combine that with one of my earliest film memories being Planet of the Apes and being a lover of sci-fi/fantasy and you get this. Fast-forward to 2005 when my daughter was chatting to a friend online and I jumped in her conversation and wrote something about penguins attacking. I then kicked her off the computer and started writing.

What genre does your book fall under?

I would call this a Modern Fantasy. The story is told largely from the penguins point of view, which is not to say there isn't a strong human element within the story. The penguins are intelligent and have a society/culture and can communicate across species lines. They are ruled over by a highly developed species of penguins which I named the Royal Emperors. Besides the inevitable battles with humans, there are fights with Leopard Seals, Red-Devil Squid, and eventually with other non-conforming penguin clans.

What actors would you choose to play your characters in a movie rendition? 

That's a really tough question. I don't watch a lot of television so I don't know who the 'hot' stars are. Since the movie would have to be mainly cgi I would have to say Mark Hamil for the voice of Lavour, a Chinstrap penguin and the protagonist of the story. Hamil was brilliant as the voice of the Joker in the Batman animated series. For Lavour's companions Nok, a Rockhopper penguin, and Leepoh, a Gentoo penguin, I would choose John Rhys-Davies for Nok and somebody with a good fast-talking comedic voice for Leepoh, though I don't know who. For the two main human characters I think David Wenham, Faramir--Lord of the Rings, would be a good fit for Randy and maybe Kristanna Loken from Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, to play Gina. 

What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book? 

An ancient race of penguins have reemerged, united the penguin clans and manipulated them into warfare against the humans in retribution for generations injustice and to rid their territory of a human presence once for all. 

Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency? 

I will be self-publishing. I enjoy the creative control. Which is not to say I wouldn't consider an offer by a publisher. We'll see what happens after the release of my first novel. 

How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

I was working a lot of hours while writing Rise of the Penguins. I couldn't be home to write, so I wrote the entire thing by hand in notebooks while on breaks at work. During that time I had to have Carpal Tunnel surgery, which set me back considerably. On top of that I was then bogged down by heart problems and living in an environment which wasn't conducive to creativity. So the first book was a years long endeavor. The second is moving along much, much quicker. 

What other books would you compare this story to within your genre? 

I would have to say it's a mix of George Orwell's Animal Farm, Richard Admas' Watership Down, with Aragorn's story within Lord of the Rings. Hopefully readers will see this as a unique story unto itself. The best compliment I've had was when my editor said she kept getting so involved with the story that she had to remind herself to edit. 

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

I would have to say the daily struggles of life inspired me to write this. Well that and my lifelong love of penguins. I had started and stopped several stories prior to this. Work and raising kids and seemingly unending life challenges always kept me from chasing the dream. In the end I wanted to prove to myself that I was capable of translating the visions in my mind to paper, and inspire my children to hold onto their dreams and if I, a man who worked a series of mindless construction and other jobs, could do this then they can achieve whatever goals they set their sights on. I have to admit that there was a time when I was ready to give up on it, but my wife Joy came along and found me, picked me up off the ground and her steadfast belief in me inspired me to see this thing through.

What else about your book might pique your reader's interest?

First off, this is not a young reader's book. It is the antithesis of the animated films such as Happy Feet, Surf's Up, and stuff like that. There are violent and real life type struggles within the story. The characters face heart-break and loss, betrayal, and are placed in situations where death is very real. Through this they discover friendships, love, and their responsibilities to others. They also learn that there is a high price for revenge and that it is never as sweet as imagined. The reader will experience the same anger, relief, frustration, and joy as the characters. The story is at times deadly serious but also has an underlying lightheartedness to it all. The story will continue in book 2 and I also plan on releasing a few short stories which coincide with the events in the books. I have started brainstorming for a prequel which takes place 1000 years before the events of Rise of the Penguins. So this will be a place for the reader to escape to for some time. 

And now for the writers I want to tag:

Tirzah Duncan, author of Ever the Actor (coming soon). http://inkcaster.wordpress.com/

Roh Morgon, Author of Watcher: Book 1 of the Chosen http://www.rohmorgon.com/blog/

Richard Long, author of The Book of Paul http://www.thebookofpaul.com/ 

Matthew Pizzolato, author of Outlaw  http://thewesternwordslinger.blogspot.com/

Micheal Jordan, author currently working on several projects. http://michaelpjordan.wordpress.com/


That about does it for me. I would like to thank John Daulton, http://daultonbooks.com for thinking of me and tagging me. Check out his site and pick up a copy of The Galactic Mage. I had a great time. Be sure to check all of these wonderful writers works and blogs. 





 




 

 

I guess everyone should have a bucket list.

I sat down today to write about being a child and having to endure my father being in his underwear at the most inappropriate times. While this is something everybody should know about, before I began I was reminded of a conversation I had with my very patient wife about hoping to see Sir Paul McCartney in concert one day. The conversation led me to think about a bucket list. I told her the top three things I would like to do before my system crashes and I face the big blue screen. So here goes my list. After reading this, you will understand why I praise my wife as being very patient.

1). See Paul McCartney in concert.

2). Hold a baby Sasquatch.

3). Fart rainbows.

4). Have my book, Rise of the Penguins, made into a movie.

5). Wrestle an Aardvark.

6). Throw out the first pitch at an Oakland Athletics baseball game.

7). Become Emperor of the world.

8). Learn how to perform a Hadouken!

9). Become magnetized.

10). Crossbreed a Narwhal with a Horse.

11). Joust while riding a Narhorse.

12). Travel to Antarctica.

13). Use the Force.

14). Convince people that Spic and Span is a cleaning product and not a racist remark.

15). Catch the gingerbread man and devour him.

16). Get drunk then travel to Paraguay; punch a Paraguayan in the throat; escape Paraguay and angry Paraguayan using a jet-pack.

17). Start an annual event in my home town called, “The Running of the Komodo Dragons.”

18). Don’t be a macho man. But I wanna be tough and I’d better do what I can.

19). Beat it.

20). Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

21). Realize that sweet and sour sauce is a lie perpetuated by the Chinese government for the purposes of extending its colonial expansion of the United States via Panda Express.

22). Understand the lyrics to any Def Leppard song.

23). Be a Pepper.

24). Apparate.

25). Eat a Velociraptor.

26). Do something like a mo-fo!

27). Change the way the world sees mathematics. a+b can’t = c because they are letters, not numbers. The best you can hope for when combining letters is to spell a word.

28). Never give a damn about Snooki.

29). Don’t let the world know that I’ve already figured out the Theory of Everything. It’s actually a combination of String Theory and [EDITED].

30). Fight a cold using a bazooka. We’ll see who wins then, tiny virus.

31). Go out in a blaze of glory during a gunfight between me, Angel Eyes and Tuco while Ennio Morricone’s The Ecstasy of Gold plays in the background. *(if you don’t understand this, you should really watch more movies).

32). Who am I kidding? I write fiction. I want immortality!

So there you have it—the first thirty-two things on my ‘before I fulfill my destiny as transient energy’ list. I could have added time-travel and kill my Grandfather and see how that plays out, but I liked my Grandpa. We’ll talk about my dad’s underwear another day…I promise.

Rage Contained and Maintained

Today I grabbed my writing beer, sat down at the computer, and began typing with the ferocity of those reporters you’d see in the old black and white movies. You know the one? The guy wearing a fedora, cigarette clenched between the lips, the typewriter dings and he hits the carriage return. He pounds out a few more words, quickly flips the carriage release lever, pulls the paper out with a zip and rushes his work to the editor. It felt good. Actually, it felt real good. But this is me I’m talking about. As I typed I began to notice that the words weren’t keeping up with my rate of typing. Was I typing faster than the word processor could keep up with? For somebody who types 45 wpm, at best, this was quite an improvement. I was staring at the screen in bewilderment when it happened: nearly all computer function ceased. No more words appeared. I couldn’t do anything. I moved the mouse around and began randomly clicking shit. People who know me know I have never claimed to be a techno-genius. But I’m also not a Luddite, though at times I long to be. Or at least I would like to emulate Ned Ludd. Today was one of those days. Several minutes went by with no apparent results of my clicking. I didn’t know where I was clicking because the mouse cursor decided it was break time too. After several minutes of pointless toil, I finally gave up on my quest to get the machine operating again. I sat back in the chair and drank my bottle of Firestone Walker 805 beer, hoping it would quench the burn of frustration threatening consume my otherwise positive feeling of finally sitting down to write after a two week hiatus.

At first I blamed my old nemesis Xfinity. I will blame Xfinity and their crappy service for every computer related issue I have for the rest of my days. But how could my shitty IP affect my word program? Rage threatened to overtake me. However, my resiliency in the face of uncertainty kept me within the bounds of rational thought. In other words I drank another Firestone Walker 805. *(In case you’re wondering why I keep mentioning the beer name, I am hoping for a delivery truck to arrive at my door in appreciation for the plug and free advertisement going out to the tens of people who read my blog every month. Not that I drink a lot, it’s just that I really like this Firestone Walker 805 and they only sell it in the 805 area code—hence the name. Unfortunately I don’t live in that area code. I live in Devil’s Tookus. It’s near that area code, but by near I mean a two-hour drive. And since, for reasons I do not understand, the brewery can’t sell it anywhere other than the 805 area code, I have to get it by driving there and running the booze across area codes like some kind of prohibition bootlegger. Can’t they just put a different label on it and sell it here? You may think to yourselves, “No beer is worth that kind of effort.” But to that I say “nay, you have not tried this brew.” It is the panacea and ambrosia which I have found that, in small doses, makes Xfinity, Devil's Tookus and Celine Dion marginally tolerable). [BTP] So thanks to Mister Walker I sat emotionless and motionless for an indeterminable amount of time. I managed a twitch and then after a second such span of time the letter ‘T’ popped up on the screen. What’s this? Something happened!  An ‘h’ followed the ‘T’! Finally, my computer showed life. An ‘e’! ‘The’. I had never been so happy to see a definite article. And then hell broke loose.

While in the midst of my earlier clicking fit I hit the red box close thingy at the top of the document. Apparently I clicked the close thingy on everything. All of the commands I had sent while my screen was unresponsive initiated immediately. Like the air in a whoopee cushion, it all farted out at once. All was lost. All was gone. My brilliant work, which I hadn’t yet saved, was gone. I checked my documents after my computer rebooted and all I had saved was one sentence. The sentence read, “A bad mouse.” I have no Idea what this means. Did I type it while floating away to the 805 area code? No idea.

It is unnecessary for me to recapitulate the tirade of words which I uttered when I realized what had happened. If I did, I would likely be banned from the internet and God would come down from on high and smite me where I sit. I don’t want to be smote, or smitten, or smatted.  At this point I felt what Ned Ludd felt when he smashed the crap out of those textile machines. I wanted to do just that to Dell and Microsoft, *(Is it just me or does Microsoft sound like a way to insult a part of the male anatomy?), but I need this machine to write the nonsense I write. I sat back, practiced deep breathing exercises, and a calmer head prevailed. I looked into what had happened and I learned that my computer had downloaded an update for Internet Explorer. Funny thing, I don’t use Internet Explorer. And why did it take so long to download? …Xfinity. I now know what Captain Kirk felt like in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan when he realized he had been outwitted by Khan Noonien Singh. My scream is still reverberating within the walls of this house. 

Be sure to follow me on Facebook and my website as I approach the launch of my novel 'Rise of the Penguins' due out late this year  http://www.facebook.com/riseofthepenguins

http://riseofthepenguins.net/